The Adventures of Ash Ketchup
by timberwolf v1
Summary: Everyone's favorite underachieving protagonist is back for a new adventure in the famed Sandwich Region-with a new last name! Will Ash finally win a league? Will Brock ever find true love? And what's Bob the Builder doing in the Pokeverse? Find all this out and more in: The Adventures of Ash Ketchup! *Expect bouts of OOCness* R&R!
1. A New Adventure

**~Chapter 1: A New Adventure!~**

"You want to change your last name to Ketchup?"

"That's right! Gotta '_ketch_' em all! Haha!"

The simple, yet pretty Nurse Joy looked at the overly enthusiastic boy quizzically. He was none other than Ash Ketchum of course, or rather he WAS Ash Ketchum, for today he was at the Viridian City Pokemon Center, legally attempting to change his last name. But why was he doing it? Well, the world may never know in all honesty, but perhaps it has something to do with his furry little companion on his shoulder?

"Pika?"

"Don't worry Pikachu! I like ketchup just as much as you and now the whole world will know about it!"

Pikachu sighed, wondering if his trainer had finally gone off the deep end. Ash paid no mind to his electric companion however, blindly signing a large stack of documents that Nurse Joy had brought out from who no knows where.

"Now Ash," quipped the Nurse by day Lawyer by night Joy. "Remember that once you change your name you can't legally change it back for 9000 years. Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Of course! Now let's get this done so I can go home and watch Keeping up with the Kangaskhans!" yelled the Pokemon Master hopeful.

Sighing, Nurse Joy accepted the paperwork and in exchange presented Ash with his updated Trainer's Card and a bland certificate, both now proudly displaying his legal name-_ASH KETCHUP_.

Squealing in delight, Ash Ketchup dashed out of the Pokemon Center; on the road back to his quiet hometown of Pallet. Nurse Joy meanwhile, simply shook her head and rubbed her temples.

_Weirdo._

* * *

"Mom I'm home!" shouted Ash as he barged into his house and plopped onto the sofa before turning on the TV. Pikachu slowly crawled in behind him, apparently having fallen off the shoulder of his master somewhere en route.

"Pika-chu!"

"Shhhh, not now buddy, I'm watching mind numbing reality television!"

Just as an annoyed Pikachu was about to launch a Thunderbolt at Ash, a familiar voice was heard from the kitchen.

"Ash come in here, I've got a surprise for you!"

Ash grudgingly picked himself up off the sofa and shuffled over to the kitchen, dismayed that he was being torn from his favorite show.

"What's going o-WHOA!"

"SURPRISE!"

A shocked Ash was greeted by a group of familiar faces and friends who were gathered around a large dining table littered with heaping piles of mouth-watering food. His mother, Delia, quickly popped up in front of him, her trademark smile plastered on her face. Quickly regaining his composure, Ash wondered aloud what was going on.

"Well I know today was the day you were planning to change your last name to Ketchup so I decided to invite some of your friends over for a big party!" his mother replied, her smile unwavering. "But not all of them were able to make it I'm afraid."

A young man with dark features, spiky black hair, and squinty eyes chimed in.

"Yeah sorry Ash, but Misty was dragged off by her sisters to some water festival overseas and May is competing in a swimsuit contest."

Ash looked disappointed that his first two female traveling companions weren't there to revel in his celebration, but he quickly got over it.

"That's alright Brock, I still got all you guys and that's good enough for me!" grinned Ash as he gave everyone a thumbs up.

And with that, the feast commenced. Ash saw several people he knew (aside from Brock and his own mother of course!)-Professor Oak, Gary, Tracey, Dawn, Iris, Cilan, and even Bob the Builder! Hours passed as the group enjoyed the fine cooking of Mrs. Ketchum (no Ketchup for Delia!) and shared memories of their travels together. Pikachu in particular was having the time of his furry little life, hoarding the ketchup saucers and glasses of orange juice. The Sun soon set and the clamor quieted down...somewhat. It was at this time than a stern Professor Oak cleared his throat and decided to make a statement.

"Alright everyone, I think that's enough partying for one day eh?" The group chuckled as they looked among themselves, disappointed that the day had passed by so quickly.

"Ash, I received a phone call the other day from Professor Yew stationed in the Sandwich region. She invited me for a visit to take a first hand look at some of her latest research, but unfortunately I can't go...so I offered to have you travel there instead!"

Ash frowned. _A new journey already? It seems like everytime I come back home, I get booted out to some new adventure._

"Well I suppose I could go," said Ash with a newfound confidence. "What do ya say Pikachu?"

The yellow mouse perked its ears up and gave an enthusiastic "Pika!" in response.

"Well Ash you can count me in too!"

"Me three!"

The raven-haired trainer looked up to see that Dawn and Brock had volunteered to travel with him. He wasn't sure if it was the bowl of onions that someone had stuck in front of him or if he was truly grateful to have such wonderful friends, but Ash began to feel his vision growing blurry.

"Th-thanks you guys!" muffled Ash, wiping the tears from his eyes. "It'll just be like Sinnoh! Except we'll have Iris and Cilan too!"

At this, the green-haired connoisseur and the purple-locked dragon trainer sweat dropped.

"Actually Ash, we won't be able to go with you guys," Iris said, looking more than a little disappointed.

Cilan nodded. "I've been invited to teach for a semester at a prominent connoisseur school in Nimbasa City. I simply couldn't turn that opportunity down!"

"And I have to get back to Opelucid City to undergo some additional training that I wasn't told of until now," sighed Iris.

Despite feeling disappointed that he wouldn't get to travel in a 5-person group for the first time in his Pokemon career, Ash gave them both a thumbs up, wishing them well on their respective journeys.

"_Ahem_."

All eyes were once again on the still standing Oak.

"If it means anything Ash, I did receive another call just this morning. The caller asked me to keep their identity a secret until they got here."

"WHO IS IT?"

"You will all find out tomorrow morning as that is when this person shall arrive. Until then, I suggest we all get a good night's sleep. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be off to cuddle with Muk before crying myself to bed."

And with that he was gone, leaving behind a confused batch in the Ketchum household.

Of course it was Ash who broke the silence. "Hey can anybody pass the ketchup?"

Soon everyone had either gone home or turned in for the night, with Ash's closest friends spending the night hunkered down in his living room. Ash himself meanwhile, was in his room, standing by the window, and staring out into the night sky.

_My adventure in the Sandwich region starts tomorrow. I can't wait...also I'm hungry again for some reason._

Stealing a final glance at the stars adorning the heavens, Ash Ketchup retired to his bed, ready to face a new day.

* * *

The next morning, Iris and Cilan said their goodbyes before reluctantly heading off to catch their flight to the Unova region. The remnants of Ash's group meanwhile set off to Professor Oak's laboratory, eager to meet the mystery guest.

"Ah glad you could all make it!" greeted the cheery looking Pokemon researcher. "Our mystery guest should be here any moment, but first let me tell you some things about the Sandwich region."

Ash, Dawn, Brock, and Bob the Builder sat down on a nearby couch, with Professor Oak opting to stand.

Clearing his throat, he added, "_Ahem_. Bob please leave."

A dejected looking Bob hung his head down in shame and slowly walked out the door, never to be heard from again.

"Anyway, as I said earlier, there are some regulations that the Sandwich region has for any trainers coming from outside regions. The most important one being that you can only bring a maximum of two pokemon with you."

The trio looked about quizzically at this statement, but allowed Professor Oak to continue.

"You can still rotate if you wish at a Pokemon Center and you are still allowed a maximum of six pokemon at any time, but the remaining four must be captured within Sandwich borders. Professor Yew will issue you some special balls known as PokeBuns with which you can use to catch new pokemon." The professor paused to catch his breath.

"The Sandwich League requires eight badges, as usual, and will be held at Chicken Melt Mountain exactly one year from now. I think that covers everything...any questions?"

With a collective shake of their heads as a response, Professor Oak nodded and said, "Good then. You three have some decisions to make regarding which two pokemon you will each take with you. Ash you can come out back to meet with the rest of your pokemon. Dawn and Brock-I'll leave you two to pick your choices.

The two nodded as they watched Ash disappear through a door and into the vast "backyard" that belonged to Professor Oak.

"Alright Ash, are you going to take Pikachu with you to Sandwich?"

Ash thought about it for a moment, which was evidently a moment too long for his yellow companion who promptly blasted him with a burst of electricity. A charred Ash (ha!) quickly apologized. "Relax buddy, I wasn't being serious!"

Pikachu didn't appear to be convinced, but he accepted it with a shrug and wandered off to watch Heracross suck sap from Bulbasaur's bulb.

"I'm not really sure who I should pick Professor Oak. Do you have any suggestions?" asked the still burnt Ash (haha!)

"Well I do know that Mustard Town where Professor Yew is located has its own gym. She told me that the gym leader Leo uses water type pokemon."

Ash rubbed his chin in thought. "Water types huh? I guess I should bring along a grass type then. Bulbasaur is busy keeping things in order here, so how about...SCEPTILE!"

Ash called out for his lizardy friend, but to no avail.

"Oops, I forgot to mention that Sceptile is on loan to a Nurse Joy in some random town whose name I forgot. She did have a spiffy looking Meganium though." said Professor Oak, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

"Darn! Hmm, who else do I have?" pondered Ash out loud.

Just then, a familiar "Bay Bay!" was heard and Ash suddenly found himself on the floor, being pinned to the ground by his overly affectionate Bayleef.

"Of course! I'll take Bayleef with me!"

Bayleef was excited at this news as she hadn't traveled with Ash since his Johto days. She got off of Ash and examined him closely, wondering why he hadn't grown any taller since she last saw him.

"Bay Bay?"

"Hmm? Don't worry Bayleef I'm sure there will be delicious food at the Mustard Town Pokemon Center."

"Bay..."

After several minutes, Ash was finally able to recall his stubborn Bayleef back into her pokeball-breathing a heavy sigh of relief afterwards. Pikachu had wandered back after Heracross tried to suck on his bolt-shaped tail and together with Ash and Professor Oak, they made their way back inside.

"Ash I've decided to take Piplup and Buneary with me!" exclaimed the blue-haired Dawn as she noticed them walk in.

"And I've just decided to take Chansey with me." said Brock, hoping that his pink friend would not try to stop him from flirting with pretty women.

"That's great you guys! I've decided to take Pikachu and Bayleef because the first gym uses water types. Man I'm gonna be champion this time-I can feel it!"  
roared Ash, raising his fist in the air.

"Calm down Ash, it's still a ways away before the Sandwich League." chuckled Professor Oak. "Anywho I see that you're all packed and ready to go. Hmm, where's that mystery guest? Maybe they missed the bus?"

Just then a doorbell was heard.

"Ah! That must be them now!"

Professor Oak walked over and opened the door as the trio peered curiously from behind him. They were greeted by the sight of a tall, slender woman with flowing blonde hair who had a familiar air of authority and elegance about her.

Professor Oak greeted the new guest with a warm smile.

"Ah it's good to see you Cynthia!"

* * *

**So Ash Ketchup and his friends are about to set off on their new adventure in the Sandwich region. What kinds of hilarity will ensue in their travels? Will Team Rocket be there? Will we ever see Bob the Builder ever again? And where does Sinnoh League Champion Cynthia factor into all of this? Stay tuned!**

**As always comments and reviews are welcome =D!**


	2. Four's a Crowd

**We left off with the Sinnoh League Champion Cynthia stopping by Professor Oak's Lab. But the question is: why? Well, read on to find out! =D**

* * *

**~Chapter 2: Four's a Crowd~**

Cynthia sat between Ash and Dawn, quietly sipping the cup of tea that Professor Oak had given her. Brock was seated directly across from her, not drinking, but instead opting to gaze lustfully at the blonde Champion.

"You know it's rude to stare at other people Brock," remarked Cynthia, her eyes still closed as she took another long sip. "A wandering eye will get you five."

Brock didn't seem to hear her, however. "Gosh Cynthia you're still as beautiful as ever. Hehe. Tell me, are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only _ten_ I see." he blurted, cheeks tinged with a crimson streak.

Dawn frowned at this statement and was about to make a retort when suddenly Ash yelled, "HEY! Wait just a darn minute here Brocko! I'm still ten years old too! And so is Dawn...I think."

Everyone in the room (save for Cynthia of course, being the cool customer she always is) immediately plopped to the ground in comedic fashion.

"Cynthia isn't ten years old Ash!" scolded the blunette with palm in face. "Brock was just using a cheezy pick up line from the stone age!"

Ash blinked. "What's a pick-up line?"

A collective groan was heard as Ash scratched his head, confused as ever.

Cynthia seemed to ignore the commotion and gently set her cup down on the table. "I'm sure all of you are wondering why I'm here in Pallet Town." She turned to Ash. "I heard about your upcoming trip to the Sandwich region Ash, and I was wondering if I could join you and your friends?"

Ash and Dawn stared at her in amazement while Brock celebrated madly in the background.

"But don't you have duties as a Champion back in Sinnoh?" asked a wide-eyed Dawn.

Cynthia chuckled. "Duties is putting it lightly Dawn. I got bored of it in all honesty." She leaned back in her seat and stared up at the ceiling. "Being a Champion is nice, but I wanted to get back to basics-travel across cities and towns as a regular trainer. I've never been to the Sandwich region before..." she trailed off.

"Well I say the more the merrier! You can definitely travel with us, right Pikachu?"

"Pika!"

Cynthia smiled. "Well I guess it's settled then."

Brock began emitting disturbing grunts and moans at the sound of this news, with everyone seemingly ignoring him.

"Oh but Cynthia!" The blonde turned to look quizzically at Dawn. "You can only carry two Pokemon with you to Sandwich. Who else are you taking besides Garchomp?"

"Actually, I've left Garchomp at home," replied Cynthia, much to the shock of everyone in the room. "I was serious when I said I wanted to get back to basics and experience the feeling of being a brand new trainer...at least somewhat."

"So what pokemon are you bringing along then?" asked a still stunned Dawn.

"I'll show you." Cynthia pulled a pokeball out from who knows where and called out her first pokemon in a flash of brilliant red light.

"Gar-de-voir."

The elegant green pokemon floated about, examining its new surroundings. For some strange reason Ash let out a yelp at the sight of Gardevoir.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The others looked at him strangely.

"Something wrong Ash?"

"Nothing at all, I just had this weird feeling of dread and fear when I saw Gardevoir for some reason. I don't know why though..." Ash shrugged.

"Well...ok then. Let me introduce you to the second member of my team! Come on out!"

Another burst of light revealed a small red fox-like pokemon with six majestic tails. It blinked a few times before nuzzling up to Cynthia's leg.

"Vul-pix-Vul!"

Dawn squealed at the sight of the newly emerged Vulpix. "Oh wow it's so cute!" She pulled out her PokeDex for a quick scan.

_"Vulpix. The fox pokemon. Vulpix like to congregate near volcanoes and eat burnt berries. It is said that if you touch a Vulpix's tail, it will follow you for over 9000 years, preventing you from getting laid."_

"What was that last part?" asked a very disturbed Dawn, now looking at the cute Vulpix in a much different light. Brock didn't seem to mind though, rushing up to take Cynthia's hands in his own.

"Oh Cynthia my love! It seems fate has shown it's hand once more...for once upon a time I too had a Vulpix! But fear not! For I promise I shan't lay a hand on it's beautiful tail and thus we can spend many starry nights having hot steamy-OW!"

Brock turned around right into the fierce, unapproving gaze of Gardevoir. Rubbing his sore head, he sheepishly asked, "What was that for?"

Cynthia giggled. "I think you'll find my Gardevoir to be very protective of me Brock. But I didn't bring her along to keep your hormones in check. I brought her with me because Vulpix here looks up to her as a big sister, and if for some reason I'm not around, I know she'll be in good hands...or at least hand-like appendages."

"B-but, what about fate?" Brock whimpered.

Professor Oak, who had been quietly sitting in his seat, suddenly jolted up and exclaimed, "Goodness gracious! Look at the time! You four need to hurry along to Pallet Beach before the S.S_ Crown_ leaves!"

The quartet quickly scrambled to recall their Pokemon (save for Pikachu and Piplup of course!). They were then pushed (literally) out the door by Professor Oak, who urged them to be on their way immediately. Cynthia was having none of it, however, turning around and bowing her head in respect.

"Thank you for having me Professor. I promise I'll keep these three out of trouble."

"Yes yes that's fine and dandy. Now please leave or I'll be...I mean you'll be late!" he replied, tapping his foot impatiently.

With his departing words, the group waved their goodbyes and set off in the direction of Pallet Beach, eager to get to the Sandwich region.

Professor Oak waved goodbye as well, and once they were safely out of sight, he rushed over to the Ketchum residence, the door slamming shut behind him with a curious sign hanging over the doorknob that read "DO NOT DISTURB!"

* * *

After a few hours of walking, talking, and failed seducing, the group finally reached Pallet Beach. It was rather small for a beach, with small pockets of people here and there running about. Seaside restaurants serving various themed dishes were lined up across from the boardwalk that was currently overshadowed by the massive S.S Crown.

"Well we finally made it." remarked Cynthia in her familiar, nonchalant tone of voice.

"Then let's get going!" cried out an ecstatic Ash Ketchup, as he rushed forward blindly through the sand.

"Slow down Ash! Wait for us!" yelled Dawn, the blue-haired coordinator hoping she wouldn't get sand in her new pink boots.

Ash didn't care though, seeing as how he was a Pokemon Master-to be and all. Running through the sand, he plowed over a sandcastle, eliciting shrieks of agony from the little children who had built it. Ash turned his head back to see that his three companions were taking their time catching up to him.

"Come on you guys! How are we going to get to the Sandwich Region if you keep plodding along like Gastrodons!"

Cynthia shook her head. "I hope that wasn't a jab at me considering I actually have a Gastrodon..."

Ash continued running with his eyes closed, happy to feel the sea breeze waft through his hair.

"Pikachu! Me and you-we're on top of the WORRLLLDDD OOF!"

Ash staggered back after apparently running into a conveniently placed brick wall. But when he opened his eyes, he saw, not a brick wall, but an angry looking sailor.

"HEY! Are you the idiot who knocked over that sandcastle earlier?" he asked, glaring at the confused boy.

"Huh?"

"Wise guy eh?" He cracked his knuckles. "That was my girlfriend's kids' sandcastle you doofus!"

"Huh?"

A visible vein popped out on the sailor's forehead. "Listen here bub! Alice works very hard as a single mom and I won't have you disrespecting her or her kids by doing crap like that! Kapeesh?"

"Ka-peesh? What kind of pokemon is that sir?"

"GRRROARAWAHHHH!"

Before the sailor could strangle Ash to death (and end his journey prematurely!), his friends showed up on the scene.

"Hey what are you doing to Ash! Stop it!" cried Dawn with Piplup looking none too pleased on her head.

"Sir I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave this boy alone." said Cynthia, her voice unwavering.

"Oh you got yourself a little gang eh? I bet all you losers like picking on little kids as well!"

Cynthia raised her chin slightly. "And are you not picking on this ten year old boy right now?"

If steam could blow out of someone's ears, the sailor would have had enough to cook up a whole plate of vegetables. "Listen up blondie! This kid needs to learn some respect! He trashed my girlfriend's kids' sandcastle and he's gonna pay one way or another!"

Cynthia turned her head back, looking in the direction that they came from. A rather large sandcastle was being admired by various beach goers, with the two little children working on a small section of the wall, and a young woman digging a small moat around the castle. They looked happy and content.

Cynthia turned back. "I don't see any trash sir. All I see is a happy mother with her happy kids rebuilding what is now a beautiful looking sandcastle."

The sailor seemed to be taken aback for a moment, but he gritted his teeth and said "I don't care, you're going to pay kid!", turning his attention back to Ash.

Cynthia's gaze sharpened dangerously. "Ok tough guy. How about this? Let's have a pokemon battle to settle things. If you win, we'll offer you compensation in the form of a nice sum of money. If you lose..." Cynthia paused and closed her eyes. "Then you'll be banished to the Shadow Realm."

A long moment passed before the sailor grunted, "What the heck does that mean?"

"It means that you leave Ash alone and go enjoy the beach with your girlfriend and her kids." replied Cynthia with a flip of her hair.

The sailor grinned. "Alright blondie, you've got a deal!"

"It'll be a one on one battle, since we're in a hurry to catch the ship. Agreed?"

"Fine by me. I'm ready to get that money!"

Ash (and Pikachu!) scurried back to Dawn and Brock as they watched with eager anticipation to see the Sinnoh League Champion in action.

"Alright then. Let's do this! Time for you to feel the wrath of an angry sea man! Poliwhirl I choose you!"

Emerging from it's pokeball, the round Poliwhirl assumed a fighting stance, ready to defend the honor of its trainer.

"Oh wow a Poliwhirl! I have to scan it!" exclaimed Dawn, already pulling out her PokeDex.

_Poliwhirl. The tadpole pokemon. Poliwhirl love to swim in the water, often hypnotizing wild Magikarp with their mesmerizing bellies. It is said that Poliwhirl often steal Mario and Luigi's gloves._

Cynthia smiled. "Your Poliwhirl is well trained, sailor! I am sure this will be a good fight."

Pulling out a pokeball, Cynthia called out her choice.

"Go Vulpix! I choose you!"

"Vul!"

Ash and Dawn gasped at her choice, but both knew better than to underestimate a trainer as strong as Cynthia.

Brock stepped up in his usual ref-in-a-pinch mode and asked if both sides were ready. With two simultaneous nods, Brock declared the match to start.

"BEGIN!"

* * *

**Who would've thought that it would be Cynthia of all people getting the first battle in this story? Will she prevail over the strongman sailor or will she suffer her first defeat and have to head to Sandwich with a 0-1 record? Tune in next time to find out!**

**As always comments and reviews are welcome! =D**


	3. Setting Sail for Sandwich!

**~Chapter 3: Setting Sail for Sandwich!~**

"Poliwhirl use Water Gun!"

Ash, Dawn, Brock, and the rest of the beachgoers had their eyes glued to the battlefield, watching as the sailor's Poliwhirl fired a stream of water at Cynthia's Vulpix.

"Dodge and use Confuse Ray!" Cynthia shouted; her Vulpix barely getting out of the way of the Water Gun attack. Its eyes glowed red and suddenly Poliwhirl began to stagger about, comedic swirls similar to the one on its stomach appearing in its eyes.

The sailor growled irritably, ordering another attack. "Poliwhirl snap out of it and use Doubleslap!"

His Poliwhirl was still under the effects of Confuse Ray, however, and proceeded to slap itself twice on the head.

Cynthia smirked. "I'm afraid this battle is all but finished. Vulpix use Solarbeam!"

The crowd gasped as Vulpix quickly charged up a ball of light energy in its mouth before firing off a massive Solarbeam attack straight in the direction of the still dazed Poliwhirl.

"NO! Poliwhirl get out of the way! For the love of pie, _MOVE!_"

The sailor's shouts were futile as the attack hit it full bore, blasting Poliwhirl into the air where it remained for a few moments before crashing down into the sand. When the dust cleared, it was obvious who had won this match.

"Poliwhirl is unable to battle. Vulpix wins!" Brock declared, raising his arm in the direction of Cynthia.

An eruption of cheers and whistles followed the victory announcement as Cynthia walked over to her Vulpix and congratulated it on a job well done. On the other side of the battlefield, the sailor simply called back his Poliwhirl into its pokeball and began to walk away in the direction of the sandcastle.

Without raising her head or taking attention away from Vulpix, Cynthia called out, "Don't be too hard on yourself. Your Poliwhirl is a fine pokemon."

The sailor stopped for a moment and grunted an acknowledgement before trudging off. As the group of onlookers dispersed, Ash and his friends rushed up to Cynthia-excitement clear in their eyes.

"Wow Cynthia that was awesome!" cried out Ash. "Let's have a battle right now!"

Cynthia's response was to recall Vulpix back into its pokeball.

"Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said let's have a-"

"Ash if we don't go now, the ship will set sail without us." And with that Cynthia walked past the disheartened trainer, heading in the direction of the S.S Crown.

Ash began to follow but was suddenly shoved to the floor by none other than the heartthrob from Pewter City.

"Cynthia your Vulpix looked exquisite out there! But not as exquisite as you looked! When should we get married?!"

Ash rubbed his sore head, watching as the lovestruck breeder or doctor or whatever he called himself nowadays, tried desperately to catch Cynthia's attention. It didn't seem to be working.

Dawn giggled and offered the fallen Ash (ha again!) a hand, which he gladly accepted.

"If Brock ever manages to get a girlfriend, I'll eat my hat."

"Pip-lup!?"

Dawn's Piplup didn't seem too thrilled with the idea of losing its comfortable napping spot, wondering whether or not there was toxic residue underneath Dawn's unnatural blue hair.

"I'd eat my hat too Dawn, but then I'd ruin my seasonal collection."

After sharing a quick laugh, the two raced off across the sand, hoping to catch up to their friends before the ship set sail.

* * *

_"Attention passengers! We will be arriving at Pasta Pier in half an hour! If you haven't already, please try our delicious S.S Crown signature pie! That is all."_

The mood on the S.S Crown was rather relaxed, with many of the passengers lounging about on the main deck. Cynthia was sitting with her feet slightly submerged in the large pool, licking her ice cream cone in a rather inappropriate fashion-which of course drew the attention of many horny adolescent males, including Brock.

"Ohhh Cynthia, they just ran out of ice cream, can I share with you? Hehe."

"Mm...I'm sorry Brock, but this ice cream is far too tasty to share." She continued to lap at the icy treat, slurping her soft pink tongue over it like it was a...ahem, sorry about that folks. "And besides," Cynthia continued. "It took me hours to decide on a flavor so I'm definitely not letting any of it go to waste. I'm getting every last drop."

This just seemed to get the crowd of males even more hot and bothered, with Brock feverishly arguing with a rowdy teenager over who had the more squinty eyes and whether Cynthia preferred breeders or rangers.

"Wow Cynthia sure attracts a lot of boys," noted Dawn who was laying on a beach chair, soaking up the harmful UV rays with a tanning mirror. "I'd almost be jealous, but I don't know if I like the idea of a bunch of stalkerish creepers following me everywhere."

"When battling water type pokemon, you should always use an electric or grass type. For more information on how to purchase your very own Magikarp, see the mail order catalog on page 57," Ash mumbled, reading a strategy book of some kind while lounging in his own beach chair next to Dawn's.

"Hey! Did you hear me?" scolded an exasperated Dawn. "For Party Pete's sake Ash, do you ever think about anything besides food and pokemon battles?"

Ash put his book down for a second, regarding his blue-haired friend quizzically. "Of course I do Dawn! I also think about sleeping!"

Dawn sighed. She wondered if Ash was ever going to get it. "Well whatever. What are you reading anyway?"

At this Ash perked up considerably. "I'm reading up on strategies to beat water type pokemon because Professor Oak said that the gym leader in Mustard Town uses them!"

Dawn frowned. "Well don't get too overconfident Ash. You know those gym leaders always have tricks up their sleeves to make up for their monotype tendencies."

Just as Ash was about to tell Dawn off about not believing in the heart of the car...er pokemon, a coy voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Excuse me cutie, but is this seat taken?"

Turning their heads, Ash and Dawn noticed the preteen girl standing before them, her face plastered with an innocent smirk. Although she was clearly around their age, her appearance had crossed the boundary between acceptable beach attire and what will come to be known as "Skankwear". The ridiculously undersized bikini she wore struggled to contain her suspiciously firm breasts and her tight thong left very little to the imagination.

Ash stared at the girl for a long while as the entire universe wondered if Ash had finally taken the first step to manhood. The girl cocked her hips to the side and with another smirk, asked the dumbfounded trainer if he would rub her back with suntan lotion.

Dawn seemed to take exception to this, however.

"HEY! This is supposed to be a cruise ship not a whore house! Get out of here with that!"

The girl ignored Dawn, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear and bending over (This is not PG!) to offer Ash the tantalizing bottle of lotion.

After a long pause, he finally responded. "Say, do you have a cousin named May?"

The girl blinked, legitimately surprised at such a strange response. Meanwhile in the background, a loud crash could be heard as Dawn literally fell out of her chair.

"Um, no I don't. Want to rub me down now baby?"

_In one ear and out the other_ (except when it comes to battling) was Ash's creed, and some blonde-haired jailbait wasn't going to break that today!

"Oh I see. My name's Ash Ketchup and I'm from Pallet Town! I'm going to be the greatest Pokemon Master in the history of forever!"

"Um okay. My name's Halley and I'm from Venice in the Somewhere Region! I just broke up with one of my boyfriends, so I was hoping to get away from it all on this cruise and in Sandwich." She fluttered her eyelids before continuing, "But I didn't expect to find such a hottie like you here!"

"Cool! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat because I'm more starved than a Staravia! Bye!"

And with that, Ash was gone in a flash (ooh a rhyme!), leaving behind the very confused Halley. Although she seemed disappointed that the thick-headed boy straight up ignored her advances, she settled into the chair that he was just sitting on, much to the shagrin of a certain blue-haired coordinator.

Dawn got up and stood over the blonde's chair, blocking out the precious (and deadly!) UV rays that she was hoping to get.

"Can I help you?" asked Halley lazily.

"As a matter of fact you can. Stop acting like such a skank, especially to my friends!"

"Friends huh? Was that guy your boyfriend or something?"

"No, we're just friends. And as his friend, it's in my best interest to keep him away from trash like you!"

Halley looked the blunette up and down before yawning, "It's not worth it to be so jealous. I'm sure there are guys out there who like skinny, average girls like you. Don't worry about it too much."

Piplup puffed out its chest and began chirping loudly, angry at the strange, big-breasted woman for insulting its trainer. An infuriated Dawn glared at Halley, only for that glare to be quickly replaced with a heartwarming smile. Halley cocked her head in confusion for the second time that day, as Dawn muttered,

"Watch. Your. Back."

The blonde stared with a raised eyebrow as Dawn sauntered away, her hips swaying emphatically with each step as she sought to assert her dominant femininity.

* * *

_Attention passengers! We have docked at Pasta Pier! Thank you for choosing S.S Crown and remember that all pie must remain aboard the ship! Smugglers will be shipped off to the Gulags! Don't bother asking what the Gulags are. Have a nice day!_

"Aww man I'm ready to go get that first gym badge! Let's go Pikachu!"

Dawn, Brock, and Cynthia simply shook their heads as they watched Ash speed off...in the _wrong_ direction.

"Do you think he realizes he's going the wrong way?" sighed Dawn and Piplup in unison.

"There's a sign right here that says Mustard Town is this way, how could he not have seen it?" wondered Brock aloud.

"You have to admire his spirit though," remarked Cynthia, staring up into the sky. She quietly pulled out a pokeball and called out Gardevoir.

"Gardevoir go Teleport to Ash and bring him back so we can get going to Mustard Town."

* * *

**Oh boy, one would hope that Ash doesn't go into his first gym battle _too_ overconfident. But we all know that's not happening :D **

**As always, reviews and comments are welcome and appreciated!**


	4. Enter Team Stinkface

**~Chapter 4: Enter Team Stinkface~**

"_We're on the road to Viridian Cityyyy_"

"Really Ash? Really?"

Ash rubbed his head as the four walked along the dirt road leading into Mustard Town. Dawn had finally had enough of Ash singing every Pokemon theme song imaginable and proceeded to bonk him on the head, much like Misty did back in the day.

Cynthia shaded her eyes with her hand, looking out into the horizon.

"I can see the outline of a building, we're almost there!"

Just as Ash was about ready to sing his rendition of "I Wanna Be the Very Best", three mysterious figures emerged from the bushes, blocking their path to Mustard Town.

"Hey what's the big idea?!" Ash bellowed. "I need to get going to Mustard Town to start the Sandwich League!"

The three were dressed in black, military-style clothing, with masks covering a large portion of their face-save for the eyes. The lone female member (as evidenced by her smaller stature and protruding chest of course...not that Ash would know) stepped forward and addressed the group.

"Sandwich League eh? Our boss has big plans for the Sandwich League. But enough about that. I'm afraid we can't let you pass."

A large (and I mean _very_ large) man lumbered up beside his female compatriot, visibly laboring.

"That's right...the boss...whew is it hot out here or is it just me? Oh Arceus I need some potato chips."

The final member of the trio shook his head and put a hand on his large partner's shoulders.

"ECV my man, I'm telling ya you need to go on a diet."

Ash and his friends looked curiously at the last fellow, who stood out from the rest of the group with the presence of a Burger King paper crown on his head.

"Just who are you guys anyway?" demanded Brock.

"My name is Alien." replied the female member. She pointed to her two comrades. "The fat one is called ECV and the guy with the crown is named Myz."

"Hey! How many times do I have to say it? I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!"

"Shut up ECV!" roared Myz, smacking the big fellow on the head.

Alien shook her head and sighed. "The three of us are members of the notorious Team Stinkface. And we have been ordered by our Dear Leader to keep Mustard Town under strict lockdown."

Brock, Dawn, and Cynthia all tensed up, ready for the inevitable fight. Ash put on a serious face as well, before blurting out, "Oh wow another Team? Do you guys have a motto too?"

Everyone stared at the young trainer in disbelief.

"Ex..excuse me?" sputtered Alien, wondering who this little punk thought he was.

"You know a motto! Like 'To protect the world from devastation...to unite all peoples within our nations...Meowth that's right!"

"...What?"

"Yeah!"

Just then, Alien's voraciously large teammate tapped her shoulder with his grubby (and greasy!) fingers.

"Hey Alien...we need to go get some Arby's or something. I'm starving."

Alien's eye twitched at this absurd, random, and meaningless (to her anyway!) comment. But before she could utter a retort, a loud cackle reverberated through the air. A garbled voice was heard.

"Hello? Do you copy?"

Alien reached into her black cargo pants and pulled out a walkie talkie. "This is Alien, what do you need? Over."

"We found something. Orders are to move out of Mustard ASAP."

Alien gritted her teeth. "Fine."

She nodded to her two companions and just like that, they were gone, leaving behind four very confused trainers.

"Well that was certainly...odd." remarked Cynthia as she looked around to see where the trio had gone.

"Who were those guys? Brock? Cynthia? As...Brock?" Dawn asked, looking at the elder statesman and stateswoman of the group.

Brock furrowed his brow in thought, exasperated at the thought of yet another dastardly, villainous trio plaguing their travels.

"They mentioned something about a Team Stinkface, could be similar to Team Rocket and other "Teams" in that vain.

Dawn shook her head in disgust. "What do you think about this Ash? Ash?" The blunette turned around and noticed her friend a few yards away, whistling a merry tune and walking toward Mustard Town.

"WHAT THE HECK?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!"

Ash flinched at the sudden outburst, enough time for Dawn to run up and promptly smack him on the head.

"Owwwwww"

Before Ash could be smacked again, Cynthia put a hand on the coordinator's shoulder, nodding to her that that was enough. Displeased, Dawn put her hands on her hips and let out a small pout.

"Come on Ash, this is serious business here! Don't just walk away in the middle of a conversation like that."

"Winning the Sandwich League is important business too!" protested the raven-haired trainer. "And besides, those guys were in Mustard Town right? Well I bet Professor Yew will be able to explain to us what's going on. So the sooner we get there, the better!"

Silence overcame the group as they all stared at Ash, mouths agape at the fact that Ash freakin Ketchup had actually said something that for once made actual sense!

Cynthia was the first to break the pause, clearing her throat and declaring that Ash was right and that they should get going. Dawn and Brock followed like brainless zombies, still dumbfounded over Ash's comments.

An hour or so later, the group arrived at the small community known as Mustard Town. It looked fairly similar to Pallet Town, with a number of plain houses dotted here and there, surrounded by fields of wild grass. There was a large marked Pokemon Laboratory in what appeared to be the center of town, opposite a small, quaint looking Pokemon Center. Wild flocks of various bird-type Pokemon could be seen flying overhead in the afternoon sky.

"Are you guys hungry? We could stop into the Pokemon Center and get free food before heading out to the lab."

Ash waved off Cynthia's suggestion, insisting that they hurry to Professor Yew's. Although audible growls were heard from their stomachs, the trio reluctantly followed the young trainer as he marched up to the automatic doors of the lab.

"Hellooo? Is anyone here?"

Ash's voice echoed through the seemingly empty room. But soon enough, a wary looking woman in a lab coat stepped out from behind a bookcase, regarding the quartet with a guarded expression.

"Yes can I help you?"

"Are you Professor Yew?"

The woman hesitated before answering. "Who wants to know?"

"Well my name is Ash Ketchup from Pallet Town and I'm here to register for the Sandwich League and become the greatest Pokemon Master in the world!"

A quick tap on his shoulder and a stern look from his friends reminded him of Professor Oak's message.

"Oh and we come with greetings from Professor Oak!"

At the mention of the Pallet Professor's name, the woman relaxed somewhat, though she still appeared guarded.

"Oh you must be Ash Ketchup and his friends! Welcome to Mustard Town! You must forgive me, I haven't had any time to tidy up."

"Not a problem at all Professor Yew. In fact, I suspect that whatever's been keeping you busy pertains to our questions as well." said Cynthia, keeping a guarded face of her own.

Brock, meanwhile, couldn't contain his hormonal excitement any longer, shoving Ash out of the way and taking Professor Yew's hands into his own.

"How fitting that your name is Yew because I couldn't stand to be without _you_ for a second longer! Excuse me where are my manners? My name is Brock, but you can call me the Love Muffin and I was wondering if you would like to...he-hey what's going on?!"

Everyone stared up at Brock who was now sheathed in a bluish glow and hovering about 10 feet in the air.

"Gar-de-voir."

The green pokemon dragged the struggling Brock away from the scene with her psychic powers, leaving behind a very amused Cynthia.

"I'm sorry Brock! I didn't tell her to do that!" she laughed, wondering if Gardevoir was actually going to do that every time Brock met an attractive woman.

"Uh...okay then. Your creepy friend did make a good point about introductions though. My name is Raisin Yew. You can call me Professor Yew or Marcie. If you call me Raisin I'll probably throw rocks at you."

"You already know my name! I'm Ash Ketchup from Pallet Town and my goal is to be the greatest trainer in the world and catch all the pokemon in the world and open up my own ketchup-themed restaurant and-"

"Pipe down Ash!" shushed Dawn. "Hi my name is Dawn and I'm from Twinleaf Town in the Sinnoh Region! I'm a Pokemon Coordinator!"

"Pleased to meet you Marcie, I'm Cynthia from the Sinnoh Region as well. I forgot what city I'm from unfortunately...I blame the endless paperwork that comes with being a Champion."

Brock shuffled back to the group with his head down, mumbling, "I'm Brock from Pewter City in the Kant-I have one day without something stopping me from pretty girls-region."

Professor Yew smiled. "Well most of my research was either taken or trashed by those filthy Team Stinkface, but at least they didn't poach the starter pokemon I'm going to give out next week. Want to take a look?"

With a collective nod, the four followed Professor Yew into another room where three pokeballs lay on a table, waiting to be claimed by ambitious young trainers. The professor released the starter pokemon one by one as the group watched each pokemon emerge in a flash of white light. The first one to emerge was a cute looking orange bear with a crescent moon symbol marked on its head.

"Teddi-ursa!"

Dawn squealed. "So. Cute. Must. Scan!"

_Teddiursa. The Little Bear Pokemon. Teddiursa love eating Moonpies and as a result have their trademark logo imprinted on their forehead as a form of advertisement. They also eat unsuspecting trainers' socks._

The next pokemon revealed was a greenish blob with a yellow quill-like protrusion jutting out from its head.

"Gul-pin!"

Dawn didn't squeal this time, but did scan it as usual.

_Gulpin. The Stomach Pokemon. Gulpin often travel in large droves across the land, leaving behind ink trails that take an eternity to clean up. It is rumored that the Declaration of Independence was signed using a Gulpin._

Ash scratched his head. "The Declaration of what?"

The last pokemon had a slender, blue, serpentine body with a white underside and big, recognizable ears. It mewed softly as it examined its surroundings. Although all four trainers knew exactly what this pokemon was, Dawn scanned it anyway.

_Dratini. The Dragon Pokemon. Dratini often shed their skins as they grow, leaving them behind to pollute the waters of the Kanto and Johto Regions. Dratini are exceptionally rare and hard to find. There is a 5% chance of encountering one in the Safari Zone with a Rusty Old Rod._

"Wow a Dratini!" Dawn exclaimed, rushing over to it and petting it on the head.

"These are some interesting starter pokemon you give out Marcie." observed Cynthia who seemed to be the only one using that name.

"Ah well you see, here in the Sandwich Region, the starter pokemon vary from year to year. I'm actually a bit surprised that Team Stinkface didn't take any of the Pokemon, especially a rare one such as Dratini here."

"Mm...I'm sure these three will make excellent pokemon for the next batch of new trainers. But I believe we have more pressing matters at hand to discuss, such as that Team Stinkface."

"Right. Well let me update your Poke-Dexes if you have them, and I'll go make some beverages for us all."

Ash and Dawn handed their Poke-Dexes over and waited patiently as Professor Yew disappeared to another room.

"Gosh this Dratini is so cool. Some lucky trainer is going to get it as their first pokemon." cooed Dawn as she continued to rub the top of Dratini's head.

Cynthia and Brock both chuckled, with the latter remarking, "Well Dawn I think Dratini wouldn't mind if you were its trainer."

"Huh?"

Dawn looked down and noticed that the Dratini was nuzzling up against her leg, mewing excitedly. Before Dawn could react, Professor Yew returned.

"Okay everyone let's talk in the meeting room. It's just down this hallway over here. Your Poke-Dexes will be ready shortly but it should give us enough time to talk." Professor Yew walked over and returned Teddiursa and Gulpin back to their pokeballs.

"Okay Dratini back in you go!"

The Dratini mewed sadly in response and hid behind Dawn's leg. Professor Yew frowned for a moment, but her face soon lit up in realization.

"Ah I see. Okay Dratini you can come with us to the meeting room if you want."

Dawn smiled and picked up the happily mewing Dratini and followed Professor Yew and the rest of her friends to the meeting room, where they would hopefully get to the bottom of the mystery of Team Stinkface.

* * *

**A/N: Oh noes, not another "Team"! Oh well at least they made it to Mustard Town and it looks like Dawn has a new friend! **

**As always thanks for reading! Comments and reviews are appreciated and welcome! :D**


	5. The Odd Gym Leader

**~Chapter 5: The Odd Gym Leader~**

After everyone had settled into their seats, Professor Yew handed out glasses of iced tea before sitting down herself.

"So Marcie, why don't you start from the beginning? Do you have any idea why Team Stinkface would target your lab?"

Professor Yew turned toward the Sinnoh Champion and sighed. "Well...I'm not quite sure to be honest. I had heard rumors of some evil organization here and there, but I never actually believed them." She furrowed her brows in thought. "I was researching the effects that different types of food have on pokemon-fast food, pokemon food, space food, dog food, among other things."

"Sounds interesting, I used to be a Pokemon Breeder so I know a thing or two about pokemon food." chirped Brock, hoping to impress Professor Yew.

"That's nice."

Brock slumped over, holding his heart and sobbing loudly.

"Anyways, I found out that there was one common foodstuff that all pokemon responded positively to." She paused for dramatic effect, looking around the room solemnly.

"Sandwiches."

The flabbergasted faces around the table caused Professor Yew to chuckle for perhaps the first time that day. "I know, I know. It's a little cliche, but then again so aren't most things in life?"

"Wait so what do sandwiches do exactly?" inquired a curious Dawn as she continued to hold Dratini in her lap.

"Well they are by far the best foodstuff in terms of improving a pokemon's friendship with its trainer, leading to a stronger trainer-pokemon bond and increased potency on the battlefield."

Brock nodded his head as he absorbed this new and exciting knowledge while Ash and Dawn exchanged quizzical looks.

"No offense Marcie, but while this is certainly some interesting information, I fail to see how it could be of any use to Team Stinkface."

Professor Yew smiled wryly. "I wish I knew the answer to that myself, Cynthia. Whatever they plan on doing with this information...it can't be good."

A grim silence fell over the group as they all stared down at the table, reflecting on this new revelation. A moment later, a loud beep nearly jolted them out of their chairs.

"Looks like your Poke-Dexes are ready! Why don't you four go wait out by the front doors? I'll be out in a second with everything you'll need for your journey!"

Before anyone could reply, she disappeared once more, leaving the four trainers to shrug their shoulders and head toward the exit.

A short time later, Professor Yew emerged with two Poke-Dexes in one hand and a large bag in the other.

"Okay Ash here's your Poke-Dex. And here's yours Dawn." said the professor as she handed the two trainers their respective Poke-Dexes. She then offered the large bag to Cynthia (and not Brock!) who gladly accepted it.

"I packed as many potions, antidotes, and joke books I could in there. They should last you for a while and will be great in a pinch if there aren't any Pokemon Centers nearby."

The four bowed in respect at the generous gift and prepared to say their goodbyes before a loud mewing sound interrupted them.

Dawn gasped and looked down at the wide-eyed dragon pokemon still in her arms.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I guess you have to go now Dratini..."

Reluctantly, Dawn stepped forward, looking down at the sad Dratini with an equally sad face of her own. Her sadness turned to confusion, however, when she heard Professor Yew laugh heartily.

"Is something wrong Professor Yew?" she asked with a hint of venom in her voice, wondering deep down if the professor was mocking her in some way by taking back Dratini.

"Calm down Dawn," she replied, trying to catch her breath. "There's nothing wrong at all. In fact, I think Dratini would like to stay with you."

Dratini mewed happily at this, doing a quick flip in mid air before landing back in Dawn's arms.

"It's not a problem at all. Take her she's all yours!" beamed Professor Yew who held out a pokeball in her hand.

"...Really?"

Dawn slowly reached for the pokeball as Piplup chirped excitedly on her hat, seemingly happy to have a new friend.

"Th-thank you Professor Yew! Thank you so much!"

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure I have a Caterpie lying around here somewhere as a replacement."

They all shared a laugh at that statement, though it was true, as a young boy named Flapjack would claim a Caterpie to start off his pokemon journey the following week.

"Oh I almost forgot!" Professor Yew pulled out four cards and handed them to each trainer. "These are PokeBun vouchers, take them to the Pokemon Center across the street and you'll each be issued six PokeBuns. They'll be brownish in color and decorated with fake sesame seeds, hence the name of course. Oh and you can also register for the Sandwich League as well as the Sandwich Grand Festival there too!"

Unable to contain his excitement any longer, Ash roared, "ALRIGHT! Let's go Pikachu! Onward to victory!"

He then waved a goodbye to Professor Yew and ran across the street into the Pokemon Center, not hearing the professor calling after him.

"That kid sure is interesting."

"You have no idea." chuckled Cynthia as she turned to follow the brazen trainer.

"Well I guess this is goodbye for now then. Please tell Ash that the Mustard Town Gym is located on the second floor of the Pokemon Center. Don't ask me why, the Gym Leader, Leo, is a strange fellow."

"Will do Professor Yew (ha!). Goodbye and thanks for everything!" bowed Dawn as she waved goodbye, dragging Brock along by the ear toward the Pokemon Center.

"NOOOOO my one true love..."

* * *

"Okay Ash and Dawn you're both set! Here's your badge and ribbon cases and Poke-Dexes."

"Thanks!" shouted the pair in unison as they accepted their cases from Nurse Joy.

They walked back to their table where Brock and Cynthia were waiting. Brock was busy ogling at the exotic-looking Joy while Cynthia was examining her PokeBuns.

"These look like actual buns and not pokeballs." commented the Champion dryly.

"Who cares what they look like? I'm gonna catch all of the pokemon in the world with them, right Pikachu?"

"Pi-ka..."

Dawn took a seat next to Cynthia and set Dratini down on the floor where a bowl of poffins was waiting.

"Settle down Ash, you know that's not realistic."

Ash looked at his blue-haired friend with haughty defiance. "Anything is possible Dawn...if you just believveeeeee."

Dawn simply sighed and shook her head. "This isn't a Disney movie Ash. First things first you should concentrate on your upcoming gym battle."

"Dawn's right Ash," chimed in Cynthia. "Even though it's the first gym, you can't underestimate your opponent."

"Pft, I got this in the bag guys. I know he uses water-type pokemon and I've got Bayleef and Pikachu with me! This should be a breeze."

"A breeze huh?"

The four turned their heads and saw a curious looking man with a very noticeable mustache.

"I assure you my friend, that any battle you have with me will be anything but _Febreze_." he said as he stroked his mustache slowly.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"...Who are you again?"

"My name is Leo," started the whiskered man. "But you can call me Leonidus, Leopard, or _The Stache_." He winked at Dawn, causing her to shiver and slide in further into her seat. "I prefer _The Stache_."

Ash threw his fist into the air in a heroic pose.

"Finally then...you're my first opponent here in Sandwich! I challenge you to a gym battle!"

Leo continued to play with his facial hair, observing the young Ketchup closely.

"I accept your challenge even though I don't know your name. But I do know that A plus B equals C and D minus F equals infinity."

"Huh?"

"Yup."

"Okay...my name is Ash Ketchup from Pallet Town and when can we battle?"

Leo smirked and pointed up the stairs. "Pleased to meet you Ash Ketchup from Pallet Town and when can we battle...that's quite a long name you've got there. Anywho, my gym is upstairs and since I have no prior engagements, we can battle immediately if you want."

"Let's do it then! COME ON PIKACHU!"

Before anyone could blink, Ash had zipped up the stairs and out of sight. Leo twirled his mustache in amusement and slowly followed after him.

Dawn sighed. "One of these days he's going to fall off a cliff doing that. Come on Dratini and Piplup!"

Cynthia got up and dusted herself off, watching as Gardevoir tugged Brock along with her psychic powers up the stairs. Although the sight would likely never stop being amusing, Cynthia still had a strange feeling in her stomach, and it wasn't indigestion!

_This Leo character sure is peculiar...I hope Ash doesn't take him lightly._

With a shake of her head, she ascended the staircase, ready to witness the first gym battle in the Sandwich Region.

* * *

**A/N: There sure are some interesting people in the Sandwich Region...I wonder how Ash will do in his first gym battle against the enigmatic Leo? Who knows? Well maybe I do...or do I? =O**

**As always thanks for reading! Comments and reviews are welcome and appreciated! =D**


	6. Learning a Lesson

**~Chapter 6: Learning a Lesson~**

The sight that befell Ash and his friends was...unusual to say the least. The interior of the large room looked like any other gym battlefield, save for the innumerable painted mustaches that graced the walls and ceiling.

"Do you like it?" asked an obviously too excited Leo. "It took me a lifetime, but I finally managed to decorate this gym in the likeness of my glorious mustache!"

The quartet responded with a nervous laugh as they shuffled into the gym, following the enigmatic leader. Dawn, Brock, and Cynthia situated themselves on a bench that looked suspiciously like a handlebar mustache, watching as the two trainers walked to opposite sides of the field. A bored looking referee emerged from a room and yawned before explaining the rules.

"Mustard Town Gym Leader Leo has accepted the challenger's challenge! This will be a two on two battle, with only the challenger being allowed to make substitutions! Per league rules, the gym leader will select his pokemon first. Are both sides ready?"

Two simultaneous nods later, the match had officially begun. All eyes were on on the curious Leo as he played with his mustache, eyes closed.

"Alright then Ash, let's do this shall we?"

"Ready when you are Leo!"

Leo smirked at the young challenger's bravido before calling out his first pokemon.

"Alright then! Jellicent I choose you!"

The flash of light subsided to reveal a large, bluish blob that resembled a jellyfish except for the small crown on its head and its large, flamboyant mustache (or mustache-looking appendage.)

Ash stared at the floating abomination, wondering what it was despite having seen one previously. The ever-curious (not bi you sick freaks!) Dawn hadn't, however, and whipped out (get your mind out of the gutters right now!) her Poke-Dex.

_Jellicent. The Floating Pokemon. This pokemon feeds on the life force of lost sailors, storing their souls in its magical crown. It is said that male Jellicent are forever on the lookout for a bottle of Just For Men to alleviate their white mustaches._

Cynthia frowned. "Jellicent can wear down a team quickly. I faced a trainer who had a Jellicent and he nearly beat me because of it."

Dawn gasped at Cynthia's remarks, suddenly very concerned for Ash's chances. Brock frowned as well, rubbing his chin in deep thought.

Ash grinned. "That's a cool looking pokemon Leo! But I'm afraid I've got you all figured out! Go Bayleef!"

"Bay-leef Bay!"

Ash's Bayleef emerged and immediately tackled Ash to the floor, eager to see its trainer. While Ash struggled to get Bayleef off of him, an amused Leo looked on. Dawn quickly scanned Bayleef, much to the chagrin of Brock and Cynthia (and our readers no doubt!).

_Bayleef. The Leaf Pokemon. Bayleef require lots of water and sunlight in order to produce viable fruit. This brown fruit can be seen discarded in bushes and other out of the way places. They are smelly. _

"Ash, I'll let you make the first move!" shouted Leo with a smug look plastered on his face.

"Alright! Bayleef let's start out with Razor Leaf attack!"

Bayleef leaped into the air and unleashed a whirling torrent of razor sharp leaves at the floating Jellicent. To everyone's surprise, Leo did not issue an order and Bayleef's attack scored a direct hit on his pokemon.

Jellicent recoiled back for a moment, but shook off the damage, causing Ash to grit his teeth in annoyance.

"Use Razor Leaf again Bayleef! Full power!"

Bayleef unleashed another torrent of leaves at Jellicent, who again took the full brunt of the attack before shaking it off and staring blankly ahead.

"Mm. Well Jellicent and I are getting bored of this. It's time to end this don't you think Ash?"

"Wha?"

"Jellicent use Will-O-Wisp!"

Ghastly blue orbs of fire suddenly appeared around the blue jellyfish-like creature before being hurled one by one towards Bayleef.

"Bayleef dodge!" cried Ash, knowing that the status ailment would put him and his pokemon at a serious disadvantage. Bayleef leaped out of harm's way and for a second, Ash let out a sigh of relief. But only for a second, as the balls of fire suddenly ricocheted back and nailed Bayleef in its torso, sending it to the floor in agony.

"No! Bayleef!"

Bayleef struggled to stand as the burn spread throughout its body, inflicting damage at a slow, sadistic pace.

"Bay!"

Ash shook his fist with determination, knowing in his heart of hearts that Bayleef would fight to the bitter end. His friends looked on, dismayed.

"I don't know how much longer Bayleef can last with that burn," noted Brock, his arms crossed. "And it doesn't help that Leo's Jellicent is obviously well trained. I mean it took two direct hits of Razor Leaf and shrugged it off like it was nothing!"

Dawn could only agree sadly as she tried to calm down Piplup who was trying its best to cheerlead from the sidelines.

"Bayleef use Synthesis!" commanded Ash, hoping to salvage some momentum. On cue Bayleef's body began glowing and it appeared that the damage had been healed as it stood in a fierce stand, staring down Jellicent.

"Wow I didn't know Bayleef learned Synthesis!" exclaimed Brock, who suddenly seemed more optimistic. "If Ash can adopt a hit and heal strategy so to speak, he might actually have a shot!"

"I wouldn't be so sure."

Confused, Brock and Dawn turned to look at their new traveling partner. Cynthia stared ahead and commented dryly, "Synthesis may heal the damage done so far, but Bayleef is still burned and will continue to be unless it knows a move like Aromatherapy or Refresh." She sighed. "Since there doesn't appear to be any windows in this room, no sunlight is getting in and Synthesis won't heal as much as it normally does either. If Leo decides to go on the offensive, I'm afraid Bayleef is as good as gone."

Ash was having none of it, however, immediately going back on the offensive.

"Alright Bayleef let's use Vine Whip!"

Two vines appeared from somewhere on Bayleef's neck and lashed out ferociously at Jellicent.

"Dodge and use Scald!"

Jellicent floated to the side, avoiding Bayleef's attack before firing off a stream of hot water. Unable to react in time, Bayleef was mowed to the ground by the fierce jet, writhing in agony.

"Bayleef! Get up come on!"

Ash's pleas seemed to work for a moment, as Bayleef slowly got up and tried to get its bearings back, but Leo had other things in mind.

"Jellicent finish it off with Shadow Ball!"

"Bayleef dodge, quick!"

Unfortunately for Ash, Bayleef was far too injured to even dodge and took a direct hit from the Shadow Ball attack, forcing it to the ground in a small explosion.

"No!"

After the smoke had cleared, it was evident who had won.

"Bayleef is unable to battle! This round goes to Jellicent and Leo!"

As Ash clenched his fists, Leo clapped his hands slowly-mockingly.

"Bravo Ash. Bravo. Your Bayleef fought with quite the spirit."

Ash wordlessly recalled Bayleef back and nodded at Pikachu, who seemed more than eager to enter the fray.

"Well Bayleef put up a good fight, but Pikachu should be able to finish that jelly blob thing off!" exclaimed Dawn who was already planning her inevitable "pep" talk in anticipation of Ash's loss. Piplup had stopped cheering altogether and simply sat stoically on Dawn's head.

Not one to be deterred, Ash decided to go on the offensive once more.

"Pikachu use Thunderbolt!"

The lightning mouse unleashed a surge of electricity that flew straight toward Jellicent. Once again Leo opted not to issue a command as he watched his pokemon get blasted with the super effective attack.

"That's gotta be it!" roared Brock, knowing first hand how powerful Ash's Pikachu was. Dawn exchanged a little high-five with Piplup and even Cynthia allowed a small smile to slip through her emotionless face.

Ash pumped his fist into the air as he watched Jellicent crumble to the ground, clearly in pain.

"Good job Pikachu!"

"Pi-Pika-chu!"

The referee examined Jellicent and determined that it was still able to battle, despite the serious damage it had taken (no swirly eyes for Jellicent!).

Leo smirked.

"Your Pikachu is strong Ash. But strength can be the downfall of nations...and pants."

"Huh?"

"Jellicent use Pain Split."

Both pokemon on the battlefield began glowing a whitish hue, with Jellicent seemingly regaining some strength-enough to float above the ground once more. Pikachu on the other hand, struggled to maintain its balance as it felt drained of energy.

Ash scratched his head in confusion. "What the? What was that?"

Leo laughed and twirled his mustache. "Pain Split averages out the health of the two pokemon on the battlefield. Since my Jellicent had taken some damage earlier from your Bayleef as well as that Thunderbolt, it was very close to fainting. But," The gym leader pointed at Pikachu. "Your Pikachu was fully healthy and so Pain Split has now made this an even playing field so to speak."

"Guess I spoke too soon..." mumbled Brock with his head down.

"Grr! Alright then let's just finish this once and for all! Pikachu use Electro Ball!"

Pikachu's body glowed yellow and crackled with electricity as a fiery orb began to form at the tip of its tail.

"I don't think so. Jellicent use Ominous Wind!"

Jellicent unleashed a ghastly looking gust of wind that knocked Pikachu to the ground, completely disrupting the Electro Ball attack that it was getting ready to use.

"Pikachu quick get up!" cried Ash desperately, but it was too late.

"Finish it off with Scald!"

Leo's Jellicent fired off another stream of the steaming hot water, blasting Pikachu directly in the face.

"Pika!"

"Pikachu no!"

Pikachu fell to the ground in a heap, swirly eyes and all.

"Pikachu is unable to battle! This round goes to Jellicent and Leo, which means that Leo is victorious!"

Ash rushed over to his fallen friend, hoping that it was okay. Leo recalled his Jellicent and laughed.

"Good battle today Ash. I'm always here if you want a re-match. Though I will say this. If you want your pokemon to get stronger you should have them grow some staches eh? See you around."

And with that Leo disappeared to another room, slamming the door shut behind him, and leaving behind the fallen trainer. Dawn, Brock, and Cynthia rushed over to Ash and began offering words of encouragement, but Ash Ketchup was having none of it as he picked Pikachu up and headed for the exit, intending to get Nurse Joy to care for his injured pokemon.

His friends exchanged worried glances before following him out the door, leaving behind the bored referee who was now playing Pokemon Silver on his Game Boy Advance.

"Holy crap I found an Entei!"

* * *

**A/N: And so Ash once again loses his first gym challenge in another region. How will Ash respond after this brutal beatdown? Will he give up and go back home to watch more reality television? Of course not! Otherwise this story would be much too short!**

**As always thanks for reading! Comments and reviews are welcome and appreciated! =D!**


	7. Training and Stuff

**~Chapter 7: Training and Stuff~**

"Come on Ash, let's go see if they have a Poke Mart in town!"

"Ash did you know that there are 20 different amino acids? Let me show you their structures."

"...Perhaps you should train harder, Ash."

Ash sulked in silence as his friends tried (and failed) to cheer him up. They were sitting at the same table in the Pokemon Center, waiting for Nurse Joy to bring back Bayleef and Pikachu. Dawn's Dratini and Cynthia's Vulpix chased each other around while the other pokemon watched, undoubtedly taking poffin bets on who would win this game of tag.

"I should have switched out earlier! I'm so stupid!" yelled Ash, thwacking his head repeatedly.

Cynthia sighed. "Simply switching out wouldn't have done much, if anything. You need to come up with an entirely different strategy to beat Leo. Quite frankly I'm shocked. You battled much better than this in Sinnoh...it's like you've forgotten how to battle since arriving in Sandwich!"

Ash sank further into his seat as Brock and Dawn exchanged worried glances. Just then, a _ding!_ was heard and Nurse Joy stepped out from the infirmary, followed closely behind by Bayleef, Pikachu, and a Clefable wearing a nurse's hat.

"Alright Ash, Bayleef and Pikachu are as good as new! We hope to see you again!" smiled Nurse Joy a little too happily.

"Thanks..." mumbled Ash as he continued to feel sorry for himself.

"If you want some more training, you should go check out the practice field we have out back," suggested Nurse Joy, noticing Ash's sad and pathetic groveling. Hearing this, Ash suddenly leaped up onto the table, nearly scaring his friends' pants off.

"Training! Yes! When has training has ever let me down!?"

"Well at least he has his spirit back." sighed Brock shaking his head. Pikachu and Bayleef sauntered up to Ash, expecting to receive some pokemon food after a long day of battling. Instead, Ash put his arms around both and grinned happily.

"Alright guys, we're gonna train nonstop till we get good enough to beat Leo! Even if that means we have to stay up all night to do so!"

Pikachu and Bayleef groaned, motioning towards their empty bellies, but Ash Ketchup was having none of it, dragging his two pokemon toward the back entrance of the Pokemon Center.

"You guys can go do whatever, see ya later!" waved Ash to his friends who were staring at him incredulously. After a moment or two of silence, Cynthia got up and cleared her throat.

"Well...let's go find that Poke Mart I suppose."

* * *

"Bayleef dodge and use Razor Leaf!"

Ash clenched his fists as adrenaline rushed through his veins, watching as his Bayleef avoided a Tackle attack from the opposing Rattata before blasting it with a flurry of leaves. To no one's surprise, the Rattata fell to the ground in a hurry, swirly eyes and all.

"Looks like I win again!" boasted Ash as he congratulated Bayleef on a job well done. His opponent, a young boy, rushed over to his fallen rat with tears in his eyes, screaming at Ash to "pick on someone his own level".

Ash scratched his head, wondering what the big deal was.

"I don't know what that kid's problem is. He needs to learn to battle better," shrugged Ash. "How is he gonna win the Sandwich League like that?"

As Pikachu and Bayleef settled down on the sidelines to chow down on the food that Ash finally remembered to set out for them, the raven haired trainer couldn't help but ponder the young boy's words.

_He was right though...I'm not gonna get strong enough to beat Leo by beating up on these newbie-level pokemon..._

Ash looked up at the now orange sky, realizing that it was almost sundown. Some of the street lamps were already beginning to flicker in the sleepy town and Ash noticed that he was the only one there (aside from his pokemon of course!).

"Well guys, it's getting late." said Ash as he put a hand on his hat to keep it from floating away in the fluttering breeze. "Let's head inside and see if anyone's around."

As Ash and his pokemon prepared to leave the training field, a sudden tap on his shoulder forced Ash to turn around. He was greeted by the sight of an elderly looking woman holding a cane in one hand and a disc-shaped object in the other.

"Uh...can I help you?"

"No dearie but I can help you." said the old woman with an innocent enough expression. "The answer to all your woes is right here."

Ash stared at the disc object she was now holding up, wondering what it all meant (as usual).

* * *

"Cynthia which of these potions are better? The Potion or the Super Potion?They're both marked at the same price..."

"The Super Potion of course."

"Ok thanks!"

"Nothing is as priceless as your beauty Cynthia!"

The Ashless trio had made their way down to the inconspicuous Mustard Town Poke Mart, finding it wedged between a farm house and a McDonalds. Once inside, they set about to find any items that could be of use in Ash's quest to acquire his first gym badge. Unfortunately for them, the shop only supplied the most basic of trainer amenities and as such they decided to shop sparsely.

"Oh wow it's getting late!" noted Dawn as she stepped out into the rapidly darkening light. "We better hurry back!"

Cynthia chuckled. "Scared of a little night time stroll Dawn?"

"No! It's just that Ash will be-"

"Relax I was only kidding. Come on let's get going."

The group walked in silence up the long and lonely road leading to Mustard Town's small town center where the Pokemon Center was located, watching as nocturnal pokemon began to stir all around them. Obscure shadows popped up as they passed streetlamp after streetlamp, signifying their progress home, and aside from the sound of footsteps and far off Hoothoots, all was quiet...at least until Cynthia decided that it was _too_ quiet.

"You know, Ash's battle against Leo reminded me of a gym battle I once had as a young trainer in Sinnoh."

"Really?" asked Dawn, eager to learn more about Cynthia's past.

"Sure. I challenged a man named Slade at the Oreburgh City Gym. He specialized in rock type pokemon much like Roark does. Anyway, it was a one on one battle and when he called out his first pokemon, an Aggron, I thought I had won before the match even began."

Brock stopped to pick up a bag he dropped as the girls noticed and waited patiently.

"What pokemon did you use Cynthia?"

"I called out my Shellos. Its dual ground typing meant that any rock attacks wouldn't be very effective and of course it was a water type as well." Pausing for a moment to give Brock a scolding look (which may or may not have turned him on slightly), she continued. "During the battle, his Aggron delivered a pretty good Dragon Claw attack on Shellos but then I countered with Hydro Pump."

"Wow sounds like a one hit KO!"

"I thought so too. But I forgot about Aggron's ability-Sturdy. One Giga Impact later, and my Shellos had fainted. I later found out that he had given his Aggron a Liechi Berry before the match, which would explain the power behind that Giga Impact."

"Oh..."

"The point is, we all make mistakes. I certainly knew that Aggron could've had Sturdy, but I simply forgot about it in the heat of the battle. Looking back, I could've easily called for Shellos to dodge, but I thought that it wouldn't have mattered-another mistake on my part for not doing my best to protect my own pokemon."

The trio stopped in front of the brightly lit Pokemon Center having arrived at their destination.

"Ash made a mistake by underestimating Leo. Now the real test is to see if he's learned from those mistakes."

Just then an ecstatic looking Ash emerged from the Center, startling his friends.

"Guys, guys! Look what I got from this weird old lady! It's a CD that teaches pokemon the move Safeguard! I'm going to beat Leo for sure now!"


End file.
